Updated: Aug 1, 2020
When I was 22 years old, fresh out of college, I was on the hunt to find the man of my dreams and get married. First of all, at 22 I didn’t have a clue about life; nor would I have been prepared to be someone’s wife. I didn’t realize my immaturity at the time, so my state of desperateness caused me to enter into a relationship that I would later regret. Sadly, I’m sure I’m not alone when it comes to this all too common story.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship because we were all born with the desire to be loved. However, when a person becomes so focused on accomplishing their end game (such as getting married or starting a family), they usually don’t take the time to fully evaluate the person who they are entering into a relationship with. This can lead an individual down a dangerous path.
As someone who is currently single, I completely understand that sometimes a person feels lonely or desires to have a companion. In those moments, it’s easy for a person to lower their standards by saying “it is better to have somebody by my side, than no one at all.” To that I say “ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I would rather be by myself than with bad company.” Many people have gotten to the point in their life where they feel like they must be in a relationship with someone to be happy, which is why a person holds on to relationships that are toxic, or they constantly date different people who do not contribute value to their life. The Bible speaks at length about the importance of us being mindful of who we connect ourselves to. The book of Psalms opens up by warning us, “Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.” (Psalms 1:1). A person must always question who they allow in their inner circle because there are people who will desire to be in a relationship with them who are just not healthy for them to be around.
As I mentioned in my “Don’t Say I Do to the Representative” article, a person should seek to be in a relationship with people who make them want to become a better version of themselves. If a person doesn’t really know who they are, or they are still trying to find themselves, it’s easy to allow someone else to come in and influence the direction of their life and throw them off the path that God has for them. I encourage anyone who is dating someone right now to do a quick inventory of the person they are seeing. If the person continually drains them, are always negative, don’t support their efforts to better themselves, are untrustworthy, or they merely outgrew that person, it’s more than likely time to cut that relationship off. The same signs apply to friendships. It’s not always easy to cut off unhealthy relationships, but it is necessary. The more emphasis a person places on fighting for their purpose, and understanding their own value, the less they will be willing to tolerate being around anyone that is toxic in their lives.
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